• Looking to be humped – m4m – I don’t want to be fucked. I don’t want to be sucked. I want to be humped. Like a camel. I have this inflatable bladder I pump up and strap to my back and throw a fake fur blanket over, but it’s really not the same unless I have somebody’s face to spit in. It really gets my rocks off, especially if you wear a fez and vest let us play in the sandbox while we’re doing it. No background check, no questions asked, just be my Aladdin.StockSnap_5C05B478CB.jpg
  • You kissed my cheek – m4w – I haven’t had human contact in so long. Did you know that? Do you even know how much that brush of affection meant to me? Probably not. You kissed the engorged pustules on my face, ignored my birds nest beard, overlooked the smells—er, oversmelled them? I follow you around, now, but you don’t know. I take pictures, hang them up in my room. My mom doesn’t know. Soon, I will have enough to make a collage of your face out of littler pictures of your face. I will have to laminate them for…reasons.


  • Jimmy Johns Delivery Guy – m4m – I wanna be your $5 foot long, I wanna have it fresh but toasted with extra cheese, I wanna whisper in your ear “fresh tastes better,” and have you know it’s a lie…wait…what? What do you mean it’s the wrong brand? What the fuck? You mean that’s not the one with the guy who…oh, screw this!


  • Man In The Red Under Armour ShortdThe Suffoletta Family Aquatic Center – m4m – You Caught My Eye I’d ReallyLike To Meet You And Get Under Your Armour If You Know What I Mean Hit Me Up Please I’m So Lonely My Wife Won’t Let Me Have ThreeWays.





Want more?


Missed Connections, Vol. 4


Missed Connections, Vol. 3


Missed Connections, Vol. 2


Missed Connections, Vol. 1