• home depot – m4w – I watched you peruse those nuts and bolts–I’d love to put my drill bit in your 2×4. Nail you to the wall and paint your siding with my Evercoat®. You can do it, I can watch.



  • gorgeous woman in chipotle – m4w – As you rushed to the bathroom, I caught a nice   glimpse of your fine ass. I’d love to get ecoli with you sometime.    Hmu.


  • Sunday Flight From Orlando – m4w – You looked just crazy enough to be from Florida. My  guess is Lexington is your summer home. Winter home. Whatever. You poor thing. Anyway, maybe if you’re crazy enough to live in America’s Penis, maybe you’ll be crazy enough to play with mine? Text me.



  • theft at store – m4m – you robbed me of my heart. also the foot cream. do you have soft feet? i’m into that.


  • Hamburg Target.. love at first sight – m4w – I never thought I’d find love at the Dollar Spot…our eyes met over a silver pillow missing half its sequins, and all I could think about was how well they matched your shit-brown eyes. I’d love to get some Up & Up® condoms and boxed wine and see where the evening takes us.



  • Encounter at Krogers – w4m – Bitch I TOLD you that coupon for $0.50 off had expired last week. You made me call my fucking manager over $0.50. It literally cost more money for him to waste his time than for you to just put that disease-ridden dick you use as an excuse for superiority back in your wallet and pull out two quarters. It’s people like you that make me want to shoot myself at night. Thank God I have my dog. Snoopers is good to me.