Someday I will write the next great American short story. My works will be read alongside such great works as The Lottery, Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been, and A Rose for Emily.

“Now this,” some tired, matronly-dressed junior year English teacher will lecture, “This is how you write a masterpiece. It reveals the interpersonal relationships between people, and interprets the daily struggles humanity faces…now look at paragraph 3…”

The students will sigh, roll their eyes, and then google the cliff notes of a story less than 3 pages long.

Until then, though, I have to get this damned cat off my lap.