At least, not the ones that cover shit you have absolutely no interest in. Human Subjects Protection: a powerful-sounding title, full of mind-numbing bureaucrats with tired, thin jokes.




I try to tune out the beige walls, the beige and brown carpet, the white tablecloths and burned, Brand X coffee….I find that even my desire to write has been numbed–my lust for creativity dulled by figures and the keynote speaker’s attempts at jokes that only an engineer would create.


To be fair, they are now talking about journeying to Mars–that holds promise (I’ve seen Doctor Who, people, I know how this ends). However, eventually they will turn back to the boring, the demure, the twenty-minute arguments over whether to use “assist” or “help” in a consent form.

Maybe if I keep on typing I’ll look like I’m actually interested…maybe if I pound enough caffeine, I’ll manage to stay awake…